Saturday, March 16, 2013

Newsletter for March 2013

Meetings 3rd Thursday of each month at Kings Hill Community Centre from 2.00pm until 4.00pm
 

Next Meeting 21st March 2013
Speaker - Jack Wheeler - "Japenese Gardens"

NOTE! Changes to Meetings during 2013
The April Meeting & AGM will now be held on 25th April
The May Meeting will now be held on 23rd May


April
Quiz Night Saturday 27th April----7.00 for 7.30pm
Cost £7.00 per member (including Supper)
Contact Roger Chapple (01732 843964)

May
Torquay Holiday -
All Inclusive - 5 Days - Derwent Hotel
Monday 13th May - Friday 17th May
Coach will leave Tower View at 9.00am
Cost £265.00 Per Member.+ (if required) Optional Cancellation Insurance £10.00 each
Contact:- Ron Simpson (01732 874041)

June
Visit to Cambridge & Wimpole Hall
Tuesday 18th June
Cost approximately £25.00 per Member (£15.00 for NT members)
Contact: Dick Tolman (01732 873131)

July
River Trip to London on Pocahontas
Tuesday 16th July (approx 9.15am ---5.00pm)
Cost approximately £36.00 per Member (including Ploughman's lunch aboard)
Contact:- Ron Simpson (01732 874041)

August
A visit is being arranged  to The Palace of Westminster that may be on a Monday
Cost approximately £15.00 per Member
This visit will be limited to 40 members only

Regular Activities
Walk and Pub Lunch 2nd Thursday of each month
Walk for April to be announced
Contact :- Mike Chapman (01732 841078)

10 Pin Bowling 1st Thursday of each month At the Bowls Centre - Maidstone at 10.00 am
Contact :- Alan Hill (01622 813205)

Keep Fit (Unisex) each Wednesday at the Centre from 9.30 am until 10.30 am.
Cost £3.50 per session.
Contact :- Brenda Simpson (01732 874041)

Art Groups with help and advice for newcomers at the Centre, Mondays from 2.00pm until 4.00pm or Fridays from 10am until 12.00am, Cost £3.00 per session
There will be no Art Group on Friday 29th March or Monday 1st April
Contact:- Eileen Read (01732 841601) or Shirley Debona (01622 763740)

Short Mat Bowling each Monday and Wednesday at the Centre from 2.00 pm until 4.30 pm. Cost £3.50 per session
There will be no bowls on Monday 1st April
Contact:- Alan Hill (01622 813205) or Mo Bussell (01732 840010)

Payment Due Schedule

Payment Due
Event
Amount
Collector
March/April
Quiz Night
£7.00
Kath O'Malley
March/April
Cambridge & Wimpole Hall
£25.00 (15.00)
Dick Tolman
April/May
Pocahontas
Approx £26.00
Ron Simpson

CHEQUES ONLY PLEASE, PAYABLE TO KINARA

Visit the KINARA Blog-----------------http://kinaratimesblog.blogspot.com/
See (and download) the latest issue of The KINARA TIMES Magazine - online
Post Articles on the KINARA Blog.---- pippinway60.kinara2@blogger.com
To receive your Newsletter please send your e-mail address to Gerald Read at grr@novi.co.uk
To receive your Newsletter by post from April onwards please provide a Stamped Addressed envelope to Gerald or Eileen Read

Friday, March 1, 2013

Our language is so complex!!!

Crazy English language



I think a retired English teacher was bored.  Read all the way to the end................  This took a lot of work to put together!  You think Hebrew is difficult??
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes..
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
You lovers of the English language might enjoy this ..

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is
'UP.'

It's easy to understand
UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed
UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things
UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry
UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it
UP,
for now my time is UP,
so........it is time to shut UP!
Now it's UP to you what you do with this email.